Co-Parent Counseling
Parents who are separated or divorced, or who are in the process of splitting up, may benefit from co-parent counseling. The goals of this work vary according to individual needs but generally it will assist in establishing agreements regarding a schedule for when children are to be with each parent, areas for joint decision-making, means and frequency of communication between parents, and any other issues that require attention. Co-parent counseling may help one or both parents resolve some of their anger or grief related to the ending of the relationship so that both can focus more fully on parenting issues without the intrusion of “unfinished business” from the past.
At the discretion of the parents, agreements reached can be written in the form of a parenting plan which can be submitted to attorneys or to a court where it can be made into a court order. This gives parents the freedom to write their own child custody agreement that, once filed and signed by the judge, is just as enforceable as any order written by the Court.
Co-parent counseling is not for every separated or divorced parent who cannot resolve issues with their child’s other parent. Individuals who cannot tolerate sitting together in a room or who cannot constructively contribute to a dialogue in which issues are identified and resolved may find co-parent counseling frustrating and ineffective. For people in this sort of situation, direct court intervention, court based mediation, custody evaluation, special mastering, and other such arrangements may be more effective both personally and financially. However, years of clinical experience show beyond a doubt that many people enter co-parent counseling reluctantly and skeptically, and a good number of these folks are surprised to find that they are able to resolve their troubling issues and work out parenting arrangements that support their children’s ability to flourish in the family after parental separation or divorce.
I have been working for many years with separated and divorced families in the process of working out arrangements for their children. My professional experience in this area is as a mediator, custody evaluator, and special master. I was involved in the development of the Kids Turn program in San Francisco and was a member of the Judicial Council of California, Administrative Office of the Courts work groups that wrote state-wide standards for child custody evaluations and supervised visitation. I have taught and lectured about children, parents, divorce, and child custody at the local, state, and national levels with mediators, therapists, lawyers, and judges, and have papers in professional journals and book chapters on these subjects.
Contact me for an initial consultation regarding Co-Parent Counseling.